Easter....its almost over

This year was a different kind of Easter for me. Normally, this is my favorite holiday....I love it, I go to church and am a part of the big picture and eat lots of chocolate, and turkey.

This year I still enjoyed it, but I was involved in three worship services at three different churches.
So after I did my thing, either speaking or singing, I sat and listened, and something hit me very differently this year.

What was it like, to know someone who rose from the grave? I thought back to that morning, almost three years ago, when I held my fathers hand as he died. I remember the waxy colour of his skin. I remember thinking that it was over. Today, I was thinking of the disciples and the women, who did the same thing. Those who held Jesus hand after He died. Those, who prepared a grave for him. How incomprehendable.....to think of this dead man; to live again.
How can one fathom that this would happen.

For me, it truly is a miracle. The miracle of life.

My mother

Last week, my mother was visiting a sick friend in the hospital. While she was there, and older pastor from my church also showed up.

He was making conversation with my mother, when he asked her about her brother, Jeff.

My mother replied, "Oh, that isnt my brother, thats my son."

"Oh," he said," You and Robyn look so much alike, I mixed you up."



I totally understand what he means.

If you have ever accidently gotten your head caught in a vaccum cleaner....you are not alone.....

Now the question is, did you have to cut your hair to get loose?

Dont worry, I blended it nicely, you cant even tell.

Table for One

This is a vulnerable place for me. This space, this day.
As I sit here, I am listening to some music that reminds me of the love of God. Not the father's love, but the bridegrooms love. I've been so busy lately, I have forgotten. I have been neglectful to the husband of my heart. For that I am sorry. It came to a head this week...not an ugly red irritated one, but just a reminder of love.

Today, He whispered sweet nothings into my ear. And it brings tear to my eyes.
I had an opportunity to meet someone new. And since the day I agreed that we should spend some time together, I have not had peace. I have chalked up to fear...fear of rejection, fear of change.....fear.
For a week I have lived without peace....but I ignored it, giving it the name, Fear. Finally last night we sat down and talked. The Lord, and I.
He pointed out a few things, and I pointed out a few things. I talked, He listened. He talked, and I finally took time to do some listening as well.
We came to some conclusions and agreed to revisit something in the morning.
We did, and now decisions have been made, and peace has been restored.
And I still remember those words spoken into my heart, with a still small voice....strong and steady.
And I have spent the day, inlove again.....a rekindled romance.

"For my maker is my husband, the Lord almighty is His name, the Holy One of Isreal is my redeemer....He is called the God of all the earth."

the Power of God

Sometimes I forget, the power of God. I forget that He is the glue that keeps us all together. This morning, in church, I had an incredible reminder, as I watched person after person, walk accross the stage, and testify to the power of God in their lives. How God changes lives, how God gives hope. How God sustains.

Yesterday afternoon, I had a heavy heart for a family from our community. They lost their daughter, and their son is fighting for his life. I dont really know them, I met the father in 1989, but the aunt has been my friend for 20 years. So the heaviness overtook me and I prayed and cried for this family, for their loss, and for their sheer exhaustion.
Today, I read that yesterday afternoon, the boy had some struggles and had to have an unexpected surgery and a blood tranfusion.

I shouldnt be surprised, that God brought them to my mind and heart, and yet I am. I shouldnt be surprised by the Holy Spirit, and yet sometimes I am.
God, let me remember how powerful, how intricately You are woven into our lives.
How much You love.

Dear Lord

Dear Lord,
For the past two hours, I have prayed that this Tim Hortons coffee would win me the car or $10 000. I would try and be a good steward, and I could pay for Ruby's surgery, and it would really help me out....

......and I win a cup of coffee???? I dont even like their coffee. I just drink it for the contest.

God's timing

This weekend has become introspective for me.
On Saturday morning, I found out that my good friend's niece was killed in a car accident, her nephew is still in critical condition.
They were in a car accident with their parents, whom are okay.....hurt, but alive. Their entire life has changed, or ended, as the case may be.
And so, this has been sitting in the back of my mind since then. It seems so weird that everyone else continues on, as if nothing has happened, and to them, probably nothing has. People are busy, and their lives are filled and we forget the fragility of life.
These people will have to eventually move on with their lives. Right now, they wait, as a boys life hangs in the balance of life and death....will he join his sister, or stay with his parents.
I think of all my kids in youth group. It could have easily been one them, and we would be left.
Tired and weary.

Do you not know? Have you not heard?
The LORD is the everlasting God,
the Creator of the ends of the earth.
He will not grow tired or weary, and his understanding no one can fathom.
He gives strength to the weary and increases the power of the weak.
Even youths grow tired and weary, and young men stumble and fall;
but those who hope in the LORD will renew their strength.
They will soar on wings like eagles; they will run and not grow weary,
they will walk and not be faint.

God's timing

In my life, I have given over to frustration with God's timing. Normally I dont like it. Normally, He doesn't move fast enough for me. God....He's a slow mover.
So now, when I can actually look back and see His timetable it can be pretty humbling. He really does have a plan. He really is in control.
Several months ago, I was ordering pamphlets and books. I didnt realize it at the time, but most of them were on abortion, and post abortion stress.
A few days after they arrived. I had a new volunteer start here at the centre. We were sitting at my desk one day, when she shared with me, her passion to work with post abortive women. I took the pile of new resources, pushed them towards her, and said, "Here, I ordered these for You."
As we have been working together these few months, it is heavy on her heart to start a post abortion support group. Because I can tend to be a procrastinator, she has continued to remind me, until I finally set up training for her in March. Last week, we took a hard look at the office, and tried to figure out how we can make this a more 'support group' friendly environment. It will entail getting some new comfy chairs, some lamps, etc. Creating a setting, a safe environment.
It funny, as I have spoken to a few other volunteers we all have the same ideas, the same vision of what it should look like. So now we are looking for chairs.
As Lorraine and I have talked, we have wondered where these people will come from. These women who need healing.
No one ever calls for post abortion counseling......until this week.
Within one week, we have had two women who want to join the support group. Amazing.
Lorraine and I both have a feeling that we will have 4 women, so two down, two to go.
If you pray, pray for this, for our counselor and for these women.

Cool.